I Didn’t Cry When Taylor Hawkins Died
It’s always sad when a rock star dies. Well, almost always. The world mourned when Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins kicked the bucket after a drug overdose last year. But as someone who once dealt with the real Taylor when not in the public eye, I’d have to say that he was one of my least favorite people, and I shed no tears when I heard the news that he’d bought the big one. When Dave Grohl dies, I’ll proudly say, “There goes my hero.” But not Taylor. I know it sounds harsh, but hear me out.
There Goes A Zero
Let’s go back in time – many years ago – to a venue somewhere in America on a sweltering July afternoon. Greta Van Fleet was opening for the Foo Fighters, and I was lucky enough to be working one of the backstage doors as a security guard.
©dickslaughter.com was extremely upset that we used his photo of Dave Grohl.
Dave Grohl and his posse were the first to arrive. Even though everyone on the planet knows who he is, he still had his All Access pass clearly displayed, was very polite, and even asked me how I was doing and if I needed water.
A few minutes later, I was approached by a gentleman wearing a wool beanie (in this heat?!), large Kurt Cobain-style sunglasses, and a fuzzy sweater (again.. what?!). Mr. Warmth had about a dozen people in tow and attempted to slide past me without giving me a glance. I noticed he was not wearing a visible All Access badge, so I stopped him and asked him to please produce one. He said he didn't have it with him and tried to keep walking. I blocked the entrance.
The human space heater became very angry with me. He told me he was “with the band” (a classic!) and needed to get to the stage. I asked who he was, and he immediately escalated from angry to full-blown pissed. Sweaty Betty started pounding his fist on the Foo Fighters poster taped to the wall and screamed,
“People are here to see ME! I am your fucking boss and the only reason you get a paycheck!”
“The Pretender?” – artist interpretation by Ricardo Goffrey
At that point, Dave Grohl, I assume after hearing the commotion, came back and informed me that this ray of sunshine was indeed the band's drummer and that he was all good to pass. I apologized to Mr. Hawkins and extended my hand.
He looked at my hand. looked at me. And then he turned and walked away.
Dave saw this go down, apologized for any inconvenience this may have caused, and thanked me for keeping the area secure. Note: All other band members were clearly wearing their All Access passes. Pat Smear walked past me a few times, was always friendly, and even brought me a bottle of water.
At the end of my shift, my (actual) boss asked me to his office. He told me that the Foo Fighters management was very upset about a ‘misunderstanding’ with Talyor Hawkins earlier in the day and asked if I knew what had happened. I played dumb at first, but then, for once in my life – I told the truth.
“I didn't know who he was. He wouldn't tell me who he was, and he couldn't provide an All Access badge.”
The boss thought it over for a minute and said, “Well, you did your job, and it pissed him off. You’re not fired, but I’m going to tell their people that you are. Next time the Foo Fighters play, remind me not to put you at the backstage entrance.”
Like Hawkins himself, this story has a pretty lame and pointless ending.
The views and opinions expressed do not reflect those of InSpiteMagazine or its contributors, creditors, creators, co-conspirators, or future co-defendants, and are solely the views and opinions of this one unknown security guard (there is more than one). That being said, we have confirmed the authenticity of the story with multiple sources.
